Parents who start living separately have to make arrangements to share custody. Doing so is always a challenge, even if they only have one child who is already relatively independent as an older teenager. In some circumstances, there may be unusual challenges that most families do not face when dividing parental rights and responsibilities. Parents who have children with special needs must take much more care as they negotiate arrangements for shared custody.
What unique considerations may influence custody negotiations when parents share responsibility for a child with special needs?
1. The increased need for stability
Generally speaking, all children require routine and stability. For children with special needs, stability is critical for their ability to function. Parents may need to make certain arrangements to keep them in the same environment and school district. They may need to work carefully to preserve the child’s schedule and to make things as consistent as possible between the homes.
2. Difficulty sharing medical authority
Shared legal authority is standard in cases where parents share custody. They share the power to make decisions, as well as the right to have time with the children. Unfortunately, shared legal custody may not be the best arrangement in cases involving children with special needs. Agreeing to allow one parent to have final decision-making authority because they play more of an active role in the child’s medical care might be appropriate. Otherwise, parents may need to have plans in place to navigate disputes about medical care and possibly also decisions related to education.
3. Child care needs
When parents live together, it may be possible for one to stop working or to work part-time to serve as the primary caregiver for a child with special needs. When parents start living separately, such arrangements may not be sustainable. Parents may have to work out an agreement regarding standards for child care providers so they can both work. Children with special needs are particularly vulnerable to abuse from professional caregivers, as providing them with support can be more demanding than caring for other children of the same age. Parents may need to work together to ensure that any outside care they secure is appropriate and safe.
Taking the time to address unique issues that complicate shared custody when a child has special needs can help parents prioritize their child’s best interests. Parents who center their major decisions in this way may find it easier to work cooperatively and minimize the impact that their divorce has on their children.