Carolann M. Aschoff, P.C.
201-793-7739Jersey City & Bayonne
973-200-4892West Caldwell

Reasons for divorce are more common than you think

It turns out, nothing brings people together like divorce. That is, the reasons people report for separating from a partner are pretty similar, and they fall into several distinct categories. While the specifics of the breakup may vary from person to person, the underlying reasons tend to be the same.

You may be wondering, why do people get divorced? Am I different than other people when it comes to my break up? Don't let divorce get you down because as it turns out, you probably have a lot more in common with the rest of society than you think.

What causes many marriages to come to an end?

Here is a list of the seven most common reasons for divorce and some information about each one:

  • Financial problems -- Money woes are among the top reasons people often can't make their marriages work. Couples therapists report this issue as one of the top reasons for couples to seek therapy. One suggestion for individuals going into marriage is to find out everything you can about your potential partner's financial status. For added security, you may want to consider protecting your assets with a prenuptial agreement.
  • Frequent arguing -- No one wants to be in a toxic environment in which everyone is constantly fighting. When listening, empathy, and conflict-management strategies have been exhausted, divorce may seem like the only option.
  • Cheating -- Infidelity is probably the number one issue that drives couples apart. Although cheating does not have to be the death knell for a couple, some find recovering from such a blow impossible.
  • Lack of commitment -- At least two studies on the topic of divorce list a lack of commitment as an issue for individuals. If you feel that your partner is not devoting him or herself to working on the relationship, it may be the factor that makes ending the marriage seem like the best solution.
  • Growing apart -- People grow and change. If you have experienced significant life changes over the course of a marriage, you may not be sure how to move forward with your partner. Reasons such as these allow individuals to acknowledge important life changes and move on without stigma.
  • Drugs and alcohol -- A sad fact is that many marriages fail because of one partner's inability to give up drugs and/or alcohol. Substance abuse ruins lives and can make a home unsafe for children. For many couples, this is a deal breaker.
  • Early marriage -- Getting married too young can be a barrier to a long-lasting marriage. Individuals who lack life experience and maturity when they married may find that maturity changes the way they see their partner and themselves within the relationship.

No matter what the reason is for seeking a divorce, you have the ability to plan ahead for important life changes, and a careful approach to separating from your partner can allow you to make the transition more gracefully. Many people choose to seek support both before and throughout the entire divorce process in order to increase their odds of obtaining the best possible outcome, allowing them to move on toward a brighter future.

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