Carolann M. Aschoff, P.C.

Tips to help kids during a divorce

Divorce can be hard on your kids. As much as you're going to need to put in time and effort while focusing on all of the adult aspects of the split—like property division and tax implications—you also want to do what you can to make it easier for them. Below are a few tips that can help:

1. Help the kids see you and your spouse in a positive light. Don't try to turn them against your spouse.

2. Don't be afraid to get help when you need it. You may end up getting it from community groups you're in, from religious groups, from friends, or from family members.

3. Cut out as much stress as you can for the kids. Give them support and don't take out your emotions from the situation on them.

4. Don't have arguments or heated discussions when the kids are around. You and your spouse have a lot to talk about, and it may not always be easy, but learn how to have those discussions in their place and how to smile when you're with the kids as if nothing is wrong.

5. Be honest when the kids ask questions. You want to shelter them from stress, but don't lie to them.

6. Don't send messages with the kids. Some parents who are not on good terms will do this to avoid talking face-to-face, but it's hard for children to be in the middle.

7. Talk to the kids about their own emotions. Let them know they are not alone.

As you do all of this, also make sure you know what legal steps you need to take in New Jersey.

Source: Kids Health, "Tips for Divorcing Parents," D'Arcy Lyness, accessed May 10, 2016

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