Social media can be useful for co-parents, especially if they live far away from one another. It can be used to share pictures, updates about fun events and messages. However, it can also become a source of conflict if clear boundaries aren’t established in the wake of a divorce or decision to separate.
Negotiating social media boundaries isn’t just smart—if you’re co-parenting with your ex, this approach may be truly consequential when it comes to protecting your children’s privacy, maintaining a respectful co-parenting relationship and avoiding unnecessary legal complications.
Privacy and respect are key
One of the most important reasons to discuss social media guidelines with your co-parent is that you have a vested interest in safeguarding your children’s privacy. Many parents love sharing photos of their kids online, celebrating everything from first steps to first days of school. But once those images are posted, they are out of your control. Co-parents may have differing views on what is appropriate to share. One parent might be comfortable with public posts, while the other may prefer to keep their children off social media entirely. Having a conversation and coming to an agreement can help prevent misunderstandings and ensure both parents are on the same page about what’s acceptable.
Another consideration is the tone and content of what’s shared online—especially when it involves your child’s other parent. Negative or passive-aggressive posts, even if they don’t mention you or your co-parent by name, can escalate tensions and damage your co-parenting relationship. Additionally, children may eventually see these posts, which can impact how they view their parents and contribute to emotional stress.
Making a plan with your co-parent
A social media agreement can lead to a mutual understanding regarding these concerns. In making this effort proactively and in legally-enforceable ways, you can mitigate the risk that anything which you or your co-parent does online will eventually cause harm to you, your child or everyone in the family.
A thoughtful social media agreement might address questions like: Can photos of the children be posted? Should posts be limited to certain platforms or privacy settings? Are both parents allowed to share milestones, or should they agree to coordinate before doing so? Can friends and extended family share posts about the children? Addressing these questions in advance can help you to prevent disputes and gives you and your co-parent greater peace of mind.