Carolann M. Aschoff, P.C.New Jersey Family Law Attorney | Jersey City Divorce Lawyer2024-03-04T16:14:10Zhttps://www.njfamilyattorney.net/feed/atom/WordPress/wp-content/uploads/sites/1503695/2021/06/cropped-siteicon-32x32.jpgOn Behalf of Carolann M. Aschoff, P.C.https://www.njfamilyattorney.net/?p=518982024-02-24T21:11:47Z2024-02-24T21:11:47ZThe impact of emotions on decision-making
During a divorce, heightened emotions can cloud judgment and lead to decisions that may not align with one’s long-term best interests. Anger and hurt, for instance, can drive a desire to win or punish the other spouse. These emotionally driven decisions can have lasting financial implications, affecting one’s ability to rebuild and move forward after the divorce.
The importance of logic in property division
Property division is a critical aspect of divorce that should be approached with a clear, logical mindset. Logic must be the guiding principle, focusing on equitable distribution and long-term financial planning. This includes considering the value of assets beyond their immediate monetary worth, understanding tax implications and evaluating how property division will affect each party’s future financial needs and goals.
Emotional attachments to certain assets can further complicate logical decision-making. For example, wanting to keep the family home for sentimental reasons may not be financially viable in the long term.
Strategies for managing emotions
Managing emotions during the divorce process is easier said than done, but there are strategies that can help. Mediation or collaborative divorce processes can also encourage more amicable negotiations, focusing on mutual respect and open communication. Additionally, relying on legal and financial professionals to guide property division can help ensure decisions are based on logic and fairness rather than emotion.
Seeking legal assistance can help people going through divorce to focus more on the logical side of things instead of being swept up in emotions. Carefully considering each option throughout the process helps to ensure that an individual’s long-term interests remain at the center of any particular decision.]]>On Behalf of Carolann M. Aschoff, P.C.https://www.njfamilyattorney.net/?p=518972024-01-26T12:43:23Z2024-01-26T12:43:23ZSpouses often have authority and certain rights
Until the New Jersey courts finalize someone's divorce, their spouse is likely to be the main beneficiary of their estate. Particularly in cases where people do not have an estate plan, their spouses have the right to receive a significant portion of their estate or all of what remains after fulfilling someone's financial obligations.
Those who have decided to file for divorce likely do not want their spouse to receive their personal property if they die. Therefore, creating an estate plan naming beneficiaries for personal resources can be an important step for someone who never created a will before. Those who have prior estate plans likely need to update their documents now that they intend to divorce.
They can remove their spouse as a beneficiary and replace them if they hold a position of authority in the estate plan. Individuals may also need to file updates with financial institutions and insurance providers if they had arranged for accounts to transfer when they die or if they designated their spouse as the beneficiary of the policy.
Children may need different protection after a divorce
The likelihood of the parents dying simultaneously after a divorce is lower than it is for families where the parents remain married. Therefore, the need to name a guardian for the children may seem less pressing after a divorce. However, including suggested guardians in an estate plan is still an important move for the protection of one's children. Additionally, parents may need to think about protecting the inheritance they want their children to receive.
Minors usually do not have legal control over their own assets. If someone dies while their children are still underage, their spouse might potentially take control over the estate and use everything that someone hopes their children would eventually inherit. Those who want to leave resources for their children may need to consider adding a trust to their estate plan as they prepare for or recover from a divorce.
Those who reconsider their legacies and remove their spouse from their estate planning paperwork during the marital dissolution process may feel more confident about the future after a divorce changes their personal circumstances.]]>On Behalf of Carolann M. Aschoff, P.C.https://www.njfamilyattorney.net/?p=518962023-12-21T00:57:02Z2023-12-21T00:57:02Zoverly sensitive to criticism, have an overwhelming need to remain in control, suffer from poor emotional regulation and need admiration, they typically don’t respond well to reason. They want whatever they want – and they don’t care whether it makes sense or is even remotely fair.
Does that mean mediation is impossible? Is litigation inevitable? Not at all – but it does mean that you need to be conscious of how their narcissism can affect the process.
How mediation can become complicated
Mediation offers a controlled setting for active negotiations around child custody, the division of marital assets and debts and any issues of support. When you enter mediation with a narcissist, it helps to anticipate the following:
Gaslighting: Gaslighting is a narcissist’s favorite weapon. It involves denying reality (even in the face of evidence that is contrary to their claims) so fervently that their victim starts to question their own perceptions, feelings and memories.
Victimization: Narcissists don’t just “play the victim,” they genuinely believe they are the wronged party in any conflict. They lack the insight and self-reflection necessary to accept any responsibility for their actions.
Lack of compromise: Mediation isn’t supposed to be a game that involves winners or losers, but narcissists have a hard time approaching anything except from that perspective.
What does that mean for you? Generally speaking, keeping these issues in mind can allow you to take a strategic approach to the situation. You may benefit from the following tips:
Limit your interactions outside of the mediation session. Insist that your spouse only contacts you via written means (letter, text, direct message or email) so that you have a record of everything that was said.
Stay outwardly calm at all times. When you don’t show visible distress at whatever outrageous thing a narcissist is saying, you deprive them of the emotional reward they get out of the situation. The less you engage, the better.
Let the mediator direct the process. Mediators are trained professionals. They can spot a narcissist’s games, and they know how to direct conversations that are going off track back to something constructive.
If you’re considering divorce mediation with a narcissist, seeking legal guidance can help you decide if this is the right option for you.]]>On Behalf of Carolann M. Aschoff, P.C.https://www.njfamilyattorney.net/?p=518882023-11-22T11:54:59Z2023-11-22T11:54:59ZDebt from before the marriage
Both assets acquired prior to marriage and debts taken on before a wedding are usually separate property. Spouses don't share those resources or debts unless they have an agreement to do so. Determining how much money someone owed prior to marriage could help one spouse exclude the debts of the other from the pool of marital property in their divorce.
Debts taken on maliciously
The courts will consider claims of dissipation during a New Jersey divorce. Dissipation is the wasteful destruction of marital property. Usually, dissipation involve someone intentionally taking on debt as a way to negatively impact the marital estate right before a divorce. The courts may also consider debts taken on while conducting affairs to be dissipation of marital assets as well.
Debts hidden from one spouse by the other
Technically, spouses should share not just their resources but also information about their finances with one another. Some people engage in financial infidelity while married. They open up secret credit cards and go on hidden shopping sprees. One spouse may learn that the other racked up thousands of dollars in debt that they never knew existed during the discovery process of a divorcee. Evidence that someone intentionally lied about or hid debts during the marriage could lead to the courts excluding some of those balances from the pool of marital property during the New Jersey divorce.
Recognizing which debts are subject to division and which ones are not can help spouses to plan more effectively for property division negotiations or litigation. Seeking informed legal guidance in this regard is always an option.]]>On Behalf of Carolann M. Aschoff, P.C.https://www.njfamilyattorney.net/?p=518802023-10-18T14:05:53Z2023-10-18T14:05:53Zsome of the tactics people use to accomplish the aim of hiding and hoarding marital assets so that you can better identify if your spouse is engaging in this kind of misconduct.
Creating their own accounts
One common tactic is simply to open a secret bank account or even to get a safe deposit box. People will then hide money in these accounts. For instance, maybe your spouse got a raise at work and started sending the extra money to a hidden account, or maybe they started taking money out of an ATM and putting it in a safe deposit box.
Giving money away
Oftentimes, people will try to transfer money out of their name so it doesn’t look like it is a shared asset. For instance, they may claim that they had an old loan from one of their family members that they forgot to pay back. In actuality, their family member will return the money after the divorce.
Dissipating assets
Finally, it’s important to note that some people try to dissipate assets, rather than hiding them directly. This means that they buy new possessions or spend the money in other ways so that there just isn’t as much available to divide. If this is happening, odds are that your spouse will focus on purchasing things that cannot be refunded, so that that money is gone forever. Maybe they’ll start eating out more often or they’ll begin gambling heavily. Perhaps they’ll take trips around the world, paying for plane tickets and hotels. If they’re intentionally spending the money just so you can’t have a portion of it, this may also be a violation of your rights.
What options do you have?
Financial situations like this can become very complicated very quickly. Make sure you know exactly what options you have to safeguard your rights and interests. Seeking legal guidance is a good way to start.]]>On Behalf of Carolann M. Aschoff, P.C.https://www.njfamilyattorney.net/?p=518742023-09-21T00:34:11Z2023-09-21T00:34:11ZThey need to divorce quickly
A contested or litigated divorce can take well over a year to complete. In some parts of New Jersey, there may not even be family court hearings available for litigated divorces due to a shortage of judges. Those who do not want to wait to present evidence in front of a judge or who are in a jurisdiction in which litigated divorce is not currently an option could use mediation to pursue a much faster uncontested divorce.
They want to keep things private
Perhaps one spouse filed for divorce because the other cheated, or maybe there are very complicated financial matters. People may not like having accusations about infidelity or substance abuse become part of the official court record, and they may not want disclosures about their personal finances made public either. Mediation, unlike litigation, is a confidential process. What couples discuss during mediation will not be subject to public disclosure, with the noteworthy exception of the agreement that they sign at the end of the process.
They have terms on which they cannot compromise
During a litigated divorce, a judge decides how to split property, whether one spouse has a financial responsibility to support the other and what happens with parental responsibilities as well. People have no way of knowing what the outcome will be because the judge's discretion can have such a major impact on the final terms set for property division and other key issues in the divorce. Those who insist on securing specific terms will often have a much easier time doing so by attending mediation. They can compromise in some matters in order to secure the terms that matter the most to them and will ultimately have control over the outcome of the process.
Learning about why people choose divorce mediation in New Jersey can help people to take more thoughtful approaches to their own divorce processes.]]>On Behalf of Carolann M. Aschoff, P.C.https://www.njfamilyattorney.net/?p=518302023-09-14T12:50:01Z2023-08-07T20:33:42ZMore U.S. seniors living alone than ever
According to the U.S. Census Bureau, nearly 16 million people aged 65 and above lived alone in 2022. That's triple the number of older Americans who lived solo in the 1960s and roughly equal to the number of people aged 35-64 who lived by themselves last year. And as boomers continue to age, experts predict more and more of them will enter their retirement years without a spouse or partner at home.
Can you afford to be divorced at 65?
This has several implications, among them the importance of a good property division settlement. A couple getting divorced in their 60s is unlikely to have minor children together, so child custody and child support will not come up. On the other hand, if the couple has been married for a long time, they could have acquired substantial assets, such as a house, vacation home, retirement accounts and other investments. With retirement around the corner, it is critical that each side get a fair portion of these assets so that they can remain financially comfortable as they age.]]>On Behalf of Carolann M. Aschoff, P.C.https://www.njfamilyattorney.net/?p=493822023-09-12T19:03:54Z2023-07-05T06:25:18ZNew Jersey court costs
Even when couples agree on all divorce-related terms, they'll still need to pay a local court in New Jersey. Currently, this state requires a $300 payment in the form of a divorce filing fee. New Jersey law states that a party requesting parenting time or custody must pay an additional $25 Parenting Workshop fee.
Contested vs uncontested
When both people ending a marriage agree on all divorce terms, they're choosing an uncontested divorce. Divorcing couples typically choose this option when they don't have shared assets or children together. However, things can change when divorcing couples need to divide time with their children or large sums of money. This situation often results in a contested divorce. A contested divorce involves couples disputing child custody or asset division-related matters. Contested divorces are often more expensive than uncontested ones since the former option requires hiring legal assistance.
Mediation
Divorcing couples may also get the assistance they need from mediation. The mediation process benefits couples who can't agree on divorce terms but don't want to go through disputes in a courtroom. A mediator's cost depends on their expertise, experience and similar factors. Most mediators cost at least $100 per hour.
No matter how things are between you and your ex-spouse, it will cost money to complete the divorce process. However, many divorced people feel these costs are worthwhile to get out of unhappy marriages.]]>On Behalf of Carolann M. Aschoff, P.C.https://www.njfamilyattorney.net/?p=493782023-06-02T21:16:42Z2023-06-02T21:16:42ZUnderstanding contested divorce
A contested divorce occurs when spouses cannot agree on all the terms of their split. They may not even agree on wanting the divorce in the first place. Many married couples who have a history of disagreements or worse end up needing to get a contested divorce. Usually, sources of contention include property division, alimony, child custody and child support.
When it is impossible for spouses to negotiate all the terms, a contested divorce takes the form of a traditional court proceeding. Each party has the opportunity to argue their side in front of a judge and present evidence. Ultimately, the judge decides on all matters of the divorce.
Uncontested divorce explained
When married couples agree on all or mostly all of the terms of their divorce, it’s known as an uncontested divorce. They are willing to work together and compromise to reach a satisfactory middle ground on anything they’re not immediately able to agree on. Parties can choose to resolve things with divorce mediation, arbitration or collaborative divorce. All of these options allow for a faster and easier process.
Mediation is a popular means to get an uncontested divorce because it lets the former couple take control of the proceedings. A third-party mediator is there to help both spouses come to a conclusion that works for both of them but doesn’t take sides as their position is neutral.
Couples who are planning to call it quits on their marriage need to weigh out their options to determine whether a contested or uncontested divorce is more appropriate for them. Certain situations make one more appropriate than the other.]]>On Behalf of Carolann M. Aschoff, P.C.https://www.njfamilyattorney.net/?p=493772023-06-02T07:37:01Z2023-06-02T07:37:01ZConsider an alternative to traditional divorce
A traditional court divorce is often drawn out and stressful as the estranged spouses might engage in battle. With so much animosity, it makes things uncomfortable or worse for the child. If you want to make things easier for them, consider an alternative method to end your marriage such as mediation or collaborative law. It allows you and your spouse to work together to negotiate all the terms of your split.
Focus on your relationship with your child
Focusing on your relationship with your child helps you realize what’s most important. The point of a child-centered divorce is to shield them from as much unpleasantness as possible. Too often, parents get caught up in their divorce and don’t give their kids as much attention as they should. When you focus on your child, it shows them how much you love them and value your relationship with them.
Avoid fighting in your child’s presence
Divorcing spouses often have disputes, but fighting in front of your child can have damaging effects. Older kids could end up resenting you and younger children can become traumatized. If you and your spouse have to argue, make sure you aren’t around your child when you do so.
Look forward to the future
As you work toward getting a divorce, keep the bigger picture in mind; look forward to a better future for you and your child. Chances are that the events leading up to your decision to end your marriage made things unpleasant at home. Having a positive outlook for the future can help you and your child.
Keeping your children in mind throughout your divorce helps them and you to better cope with the situation.]]>