Carolann M. Aschoff, P.C.

Are you headed for divorce?

Couples in New Jersey may be able to predict if divorce is potentially in the future if they pay attention to certain signs. Spouses who can identify warning signs and make the necessary changes have a much better chance of making things work than couples who ignore what is going on.

According to Reader's Digest, communication is always important to keep a marriage strong, and one warning sign is when couples stop truly talking and listening to each other. While infidelity is a sign there are problems in a marriage, if one spouse has multiple affairs it is much harder to fix and recover from. A general lack of intimacy is also a bad sign. Another signal is when a couple starts spending more time apart. While having independent interests is healthy, it becomes a problem if spouses chooses to spend time apart to avoid discussing difficult topics. 

Some arguing in a relationship is normal, but arguing about the same issues over and over can signal a bigger issue. This is especially true when fights quickly escalate or one spouse shuts down. 

According to Psych Central, shutting down is also known as stonewalling, and this is one warning sign marriage therapists identify as a predictor of divorce. Stonewalling can also include walking away from a conversation as a way to avoid conflict. A second predictor is criticism, in which one spouse attacks the other's character. A third predictor is defensiveness, and examples of this include acting like the victim, yes-butting, whining and making excuses. The final predictor is contempt, in which one mocks the other or shows some other behavior such as eye rolling, sneering or using sarcasm.

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